Jensen Jude Ohlinger- Why?

Why? After I posted a photo of Jensen this last week, I was humbled by the responses we got - people wanting to help. I couldn't believe it. Reading the responses and comments brought me to tears. To be honest folks, coming off the heels of our adoption of Aven and Evie, we truly have nothing left. The adoption process is costly - I want to be clear with that - the PROCESS is costly and time consuming - you aren't "buying" a child. There is SO much that goes into it. Thousands of papers, immigration documents, visa fees, petitioning fees, airfare costs, passport costs, accommodation costs, transportation costs, lawyer fees. With Aven and Evie, we were able to do their adoption "independently"- meaning we didn't have to go through an adoption agency. However, late 2012 the President signed The Accreditation Act. Thankfully, our adoption with Aven and Evie was grandfathered in and OK to continue. This time though, we have to do things differently - and it is more costly. We are required to do 6 of the steps of the adoption process through an accredited adoption agency. I have been blessed to find one who is not only willing to do it, but also willing to reduce the fees because I will still be doing much of the work like last time.

So again, why? It's such a simple question, one that I have gotten a lot lately. I don't think anyone has asked it with ill-will, just plain curiosity. To me, that's ok. I don't mind explaining and have such a peace with the craziness of our life.

If someone had asked me ten years ago where I thought I would be now, I probably would have said married, maybe a child on the way...little did I know the plans that laid ahead for me.

Anyone who follows my Instagram and blog knows about our children that we recently brought home from Uganda - Aven & Evelyn- biological brother and sister. Aven is our energetic, loud, curious 7 year old and Evelyn is our sweet, funny, happy 16 month old baby girl.

Through this blog, you know we went to Uganda in August of 2013 for mission work and in the hopes of completing our adoption. When we left in August of 2013, we thought we would be adopting a toddler boy, and we were on the waiting list at a local orphanage.

In September of that same year, just a month after moving to Uganda, we met with the director of the orphanage we were set to adopt from. In that meeting, we were told it was going to be a few years before we were even matched with a child. My. Heart. Broke. I was sad and confused, to say the least.

The next day we were asked to go visit a woman who had just given birth to a baby girl and wasn't doing well. So we went and, as a nurse, I walked into that hospital room and knew it wasn't good. I remember looking down at the baby girl thinking how beautiful she was and how heart breaking this whole situation was.

That evening the mother passed away.

Two days later, we traveled four hours out to a village to the funeral of this woman. We sat and watched as the family deeply grieved and laid this beloved woman to rest. At the funeral, that same beautiful baby girl was being passed around. Eventually, Jim & I had the chance to hold her. Oh my, was she adorable and so tiny! We asked what would happen to her at this point and were told she would be sent to the village, she would live off of flour water and chai, and hopefully she would grow. There was no one who could really care for her and the plans were so uncertain. In that moment, my husband said "we will do it," and I looked at him surprised and shocked. The funeral was on a Friday, and on Monday we were handed our precious Evelyn.

A few months later, through a series of miraculous events, we would also be granted custody of our precious Aven. Our life was crazy - unexpected, loud, chaotic - but full of so much joy. You see, this was not how I expected my life. We amended paperwork, re-sent in immigration documents to allow us to adopt two children, and we filed for court. Then, we found out about another brother - a ten year old. The mother of Aven and Evelyn was 17 when she gave birth to him, and he was not residing with her at the time of her death. Another shock. Now what? At this point, it was too late to go back and redo our documents - everything had been filed and we couldn't change it.

So, we pushed forward. The thought of the little boy didn't leave my mind. I had never even met him - to be honest I wasn't even sure if he truly existed. I had just heard bits and pieces about him. In July of 2014, two months after Jim had already left to go home, I finally saw a face that I’d had in my mind for months. There he was - this precious little life. I'll never forget that moment - seeing him. He was striking - he looked so much like Aven and Evie - bits and pieces of them both right there in front of me. He didn't speak any English. He smiled and hugged me. I was shaking - so many things going through my mind. What do we do?

We drove four hours to the village - I sat in the back with the boys & Jensen fell asleep on my lap. Truly, my heart at that time was DONE with Uganda. Everything about it. I missed my husband and wanted to go home. Then God did this - He laid this life right in my lap. Looking back at that moment makes me laugh - I am so stinking stubborn. I had told God I was done, going home, and never looking back. My heart had been through so much, and I didn't know how much more I could take, and then He does this?

So a little buzz started in my heart - how could we adopt Aven and Evelyn and not their brother? How could I face to bring back Aven and Evelyn to Uganda someday and stand there in front of their brother - Aven and Evie dressed decently, well-fed, speaking English and look him in the eye? Could I tell him that I was just tired - my heart couldn't take too much more? Could I explain that I was sorry, but I just couldn't face doing another adoption? Would Aven and Evie ask me someday why I didn't go back for him too? Could I watch his life end too soon because he didn't get the chance to do something with it? Could I explain to my children that we just couldn't afford another adoption? No - I couldn't. We couldn't. Why? Because his life matters - every life matters. Maybe it took having him in my lap for me to actually live that phrase. I knew there would be so many barriers, so many complicating factors. But let me tell you - Jensen is worth it. 

You see, he is our son. When we brought Aven and Evie into our lives, we did so with their best interests at heart and we promised to fight for them. They had nothing and nowhere left to go. I also believe that it is in their best interests to remain with their brother - all three siblings – together – forever - to fight, love, tease, squabble with, laugh at, cry with, and trudge this crazy life with. That little life right on my lap - it matters. It matters to us, and it matters to our God. If it didn't, would He have laid him right in my lap?

After meeting him, I was fortunate to have him live with us for a few weeks - there was mischief, laughter, chaos, and joy. I watched a boy who has been through SO much in his little life open up. I watched him bond with his sister and brother. I watched him bond with me. I watched him do firsts - eating American food (KFC- yum!), swimming, movies, having a hot bath, using a computer, and so many more things. I laughed at his little quirks. He called me mom. I told him I loved him each night as I tucked him in. It wasn't always easy during the three weeks he was with us - but man, the grace that showed through. He was patient through all of our crazy adoption stuff. He went all over the place with us and waited and waited and waited until we were finally done for the day. He got up early and went to bed early. All the while, he was thankful. When I said goodbye - I promised him I would be back for him - that we would fight for him and that we loved him so dearly. I hope he remembers that as he waits.

So I have had a lot of people ask me why we are doing this again - and as I said, I don't think anyone asked that with ill-will. So there it is - Jensen is a precious boy, a boy who is our son and whose life is worth it. He is worth all of the madness of the adoption process. Right now truly isn't the best timing - but will any time ever be perfect?

All of that being said though - we do need help - no matter how much I hate saying that (I HATE asking for help). To wait would mean that our son goes longer without a mother and father, without a brother and sister, without an education, without a consistent family, and without a home. So Jim and I humbly ask for your help - we pray that you see our hearts. We are young, crazy, and truly trying to follow the path that our Lord is laying ahead of us. Is it what we expected? No. But is it worth it? Wholeheartedly, yes.


Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for yours prayers, love, and support - we realize that, without you, we wouldn't be able to bring our precious son home.


Jim, Em, Aven & Evie


Link to our donation website: https://www.youcaring.com/bringjensenhome