Home
I can't believe I am even typing this-- I am HOME with Jensen. Trust me when I say this- that sentence right there is a complete miracle. It is an odd feeling being home. The last three and a half years have been consumed with adoption. Even when there was nothing going on, my heart was aching for progress and answers. I felt like I could never slow down.
So to be home-- three and a half years later with our three children from Uganda is an absolute miracle.
When Jim & I got married I asked God to never let us be comfortable. I think back on those words, and at the time, I don't think I really understood what I was asking. I am thankful I didn't understand. I am thankful that he pushed us past our comfort zones. He opened my eyes and my heart to a world of places and people. He showed me suffering and heartbreak. He showed me that there is SO much more than I could have ever imagined, and he broke my heart for the orphan.
The last three and a half years have been filled with the best & the hardest days of my life. I learned how to fight-- harder than I ever thought possible. I learned to push forward when I thought I couldn't go any further. I became a mom-- first to one little girl, then to a little six year old boy, then to a little ten year old boy, and finally to a sixteen year old boy. Each one of our children have been an absolute surprise and an absolute blessing. Each have different stories-- and though three of our kids come from the same home and biological family, each of their stories is unique.
I am so incredibly thankful to be home-- two months away was too long! Right before I left for Uganda we got an incredible surprise…we welcomed a sixteen year old into the family! I haven't mentioned that here- but we are thankful for our biggest and love him dearly. So, being away from three kiddos and Jim was hard.
So, now what?
That is a great question-- for once in three and a half years we don't really have anything planned in the super near future. It is a weird feeling, but a wonderful one. I think we are in a season of rest, and I know that we need it. I am soaking in each moment as a family of six, I am laughing {a lot}, and I am constantly amazed at the miracles God has trusted us with.
For once, in 5 years, I don't know when I will be back in Uganda. That is a weird feeling. I have been to Uganda 6 times in the last 5 years. A part of my heart will always be there, walking those red dirt roads, soaking in the sunshine, and in each of the children that I hold so dear to my heart. As many of you know, when I left Uganda with Aven and Evelyn, I was bitter and angry. I was resentful and hurt. I struggled and it was a very hard time for me. I have said it before but, I believe God laid Jensen right in my lap to open my heart and show me how selfish I was being. To show me once again that it wasn't about me.
I had so much fear going back into the adoption process this year. I was fearful that I would struggle like that last time. But our God is so much bigger than my fears. He never left me alone. He brought people into my life who will forever be friends to me. He gave me such peace. On those dark nights in 2014 when I sat alone, longing to be done with Aven and Evie's adoption, He showed me that NONE of this was in my control. When I finally surrendered my control, we were approved and able to go home. While I had fear this time around, I went into it knowing in my heart that He was in control, not me. That helped carry me through. By no means was it easy, but man, was it a completely different experience this time around. He made my bitter heart open again.
Leaving Uganda this time was completely different. As we drove to the airport I had nothing but thankfulness. I cried {happy tears} as we drove and it was incredibly bittersweet to be leaving. I don't know what our future holds in Uganda, but I know that we are open to whatever God wants from us. I am thankful to be home, I am thankful for the lessons learned along the way, and I am so thankful that I left Uganda with joy and peace in my heart. Please keep praying for us as we rest and settle in to being a family of six. I can't begin to say how thankful we are for all of the support and prayers we have received throughout this journey-- it has truly meant the world to us.
So to be home-- three and a half years later with our three children from Uganda is an absolute miracle.
When Jim & I got married I asked God to never let us be comfortable. I think back on those words, and at the time, I don't think I really understood what I was asking. I am thankful I didn't understand. I am thankful that he pushed us past our comfort zones. He opened my eyes and my heart to a world of places and people. He showed me suffering and heartbreak. He showed me that there is SO much more than I could have ever imagined, and he broke my heart for the orphan.
The last three and a half years have been filled with the best & the hardest days of my life. I learned how to fight-- harder than I ever thought possible. I learned to push forward when I thought I couldn't go any further. I became a mom-- first to one little girl, then to a little six year old boy, then to a little ten year old boy, and finally to a sixteen year old boy. Each one of our children have been an absolute surprise and an absolute blessing. Each have different stories-- and though three of our kids come from the same home and biological family, each of their stories is unique.
I am so incredibly thankful to be home-- two months away was too long! Right before I left for Uganda we got an incredible surprise…we welcomed a sixteen year old into the family! I haven't mentioned that here- but we are thankful for our biggest and love him dearly. So, being away from three kiddos and Jim was hard.
So, now what?
That is a great question-- for once in three and a half years we don't really have anything planned in the super near future. It is a weird feeling, but a wonderful one. I think we are in a season of rest, and I know that we need it. I am soaking in each moment as a family of six, I am laughing {a lot}, and I am constantly amazed at the miracles God has trusted us with.
For once, in 5 years, I don't know when I will be back in Uganda. That is a weird feeling. I have been to Uganda 6 times in the last 5 years. A part of my heart will always be there, walking those red dirt roads, soaking in the sunshine, and in each of the children that I hold so dear to my heart. As many of you know, when I left Uganda with Aven and Evelyn, I was bitter and angry. I was resentful and hurt. I struggled and it was a very hard time for me. I have said it before but, I believe God laid Jensen right in my lap to open my heart and show me how selfish I was being. To show me once again that it wasn't about me.
I had so much fear going back into the adoption process this year. I was fearful that I would struggle like that last time. But our God is so much bigger than my fears. He never left me alone. He brought people into my life who will forever be friends to me. He gave me such peace. On those dark nights in 2014 when I sat alone, longing to be done with Aven and Evie's adoption, He showed me that NONE of this was in my control. When I finally surrendered my control, we were approved and able to go home. While I had fear this time around, I went into it knowing in my heart that He was in control, not me. That helped carry me through. By no means was it easy, but man, was it a completely different experience this time around. He made my bitter heart open again.
Leaving Uganda this time was completely different. As we drove to the airport I had nothing but thankfulness. I cried {happy tears} as we drove and it was incredibly bittersweet to be leaving. I don't know what our future holds in Uganda, but I know that we are open to whatever God wants from us. I am thankful to be home, I am thankful for the lessons learned along the way, and I am so thankful that I left Uganda with joy and peace in my heart. Please keep praying for us as we rest and settle in to being a family of six. I can't begin to say how thankful we are for all of the support and prayers we have received throughout this journey-- it has truly meant the world to us.
After getting our visa APPROVED!
Leaving for the airport!
On the airplane HOME!
First time meeting daddy!
Ohlinger 6 <3
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